Greek Gods Public School
by NotReallyTwinsAwesomeness
Summary: The Greek Gods were holding their meeting at the summer solstice when they were sucked up into a portal and found themselves in the mortal world as cutesy kindies. They must survive school and figure out a way to turn back before it is too late. Otherwise Percy and the others will be left stranded when they defeat the Titans, with none of the AWESOME gods to help out.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Note: This is set in the Percy Jackson series, in The Sea of Monsters. If you haven't read the full series, be ready for some spoilers!_

Greek Gods

Public School

I

Athena

Athena was the goddess of wisdom. That automatically made her wise and smart, and her wisdom told her that it would be a normal, boring summer solstice.

She was _half_ righ

Zeus was bickering with Poseidon about who Poseidon's wife Amphitrite _really_ liked better, and Hera (who had heard them) was glaring ferociously at Zeus. Hermes was doing his own impersonation of a dodo as a dare from Ares, and Dionysus was telling Hephaestus that you couldn't have a disco without Slurpees. Apollo and Artemis were, as usual, bickering about something or other and Aphrodite was gossiping to Hestia and Demeter about make-up, ships and the newest Olympian God dating website.

"Okay, can we please get on to discussing the upcoming war with Kronos?" Athena asked loudly. No one heard her.

"I SAID, CAN WE PLEASE GET ON TO DISCUSSING THE UPCOMING WAR WITH KRONOS?" She repeated loudly. The council fell silent.

"Cussing," giggled Aphrodite. Athena glared.

"My daughter is correct." Zeus said, casting a glance at Poseidon that said, _Bro, we ain't done arguing over the gal yet_. "We should discuss our tactics."

"Luke has gathered an army of monsters and is sailing on a cruise ship called the _Princess Andromeda_. War will be upon us soon, say in three, four years." Hermes volunteered.

"Thanks, Mr Sunshine and Rainbows." Demeter muttered.

"Hey, I'm Sunshine and Iris is rainbows." Apollo protested.

Artemis rolled her eyes. "It's a figure of speech."

"Meh."

"Did you just 'meh' me?"

"Yeah."

"Just wait until I get my hands on my bow, you-"

" _Anyway_ ," Hermes interrupted, not wanting to hear all of Artemis' profanities, "What should we do about the boat?"

Poseidon raised his hand. "I can try to damage the boat with storms."

"That would be good." Hera nodded her head.

"But it won't be enough to stop war." Hephaestus said. "So do we fight or leave it to the demigods?"

"War," Ares yelled. "I vote war! War is good!"

"Great vocabulary."

"Be quiet Hermes."

"And the great prophecy," Athena said.

" _A half-blood of the eldest gods_

 _Shall reach sixteen against all odds_

 _And see the world in endless sleep_

 _A hero's soul, cursed blade shall reap._

 _A single choice shall end his days_

 _Olympus to preserve or raze._ "

The gods were silent for a while, then Hera spoke up.

"So, the question remains," she said quietly, "Is the hero of the prophecy Thalia Grace or Percy Jackson? And also, will they choose to save Olympus, or destroy it?"

"It's neither of them." Apollo said.

Everyone stared.

"Hey, it's _my_ Oracle," he said defensively. "I would know."

"Well then," Artemis implored, "Who is it?"

This was when it started getting a bit weird for Athena's liking.

"Luke Castellan."

The room was silent.

Suddenly, a giant portal opened up I the middle of the middle of the room sucking in the gods' stuff. Hermes' caduceus flew in first ("HOLY #$%*ING HADES!), closely followed by the master bolt, then the trident. Ares screamed as a fluffy pink teddy bear tore loose off of his favourite battle armour. Athena giggled, but stopped when her favourite 100 page maths grid book got eaten up.

Ares and Aphrodite were cuddling, screaming like little girls. Demeter cried outas an apple ripped loose from her throne and smacked her square in the face, so she was only holding ono a branch. But that was torn off as well, and screaming, Demeter was sucked in.

Athena screamed as well, watching as Ares and Aphrodite, still hugging, were sucked in as well, then Dionysus, clutching a bottle of wine, looking like he was thinking, _I hate my life_. Hermes joined them in the swirling void.

Hephaestus held onto his throne for a while, flapping like a flag, but then Hera smacked into him, and they both careened into the portal. Zeus, thumb wrestling with Poseidon (for the heart of Amphitrite) were drawn in as well. Hestia looked confused, but then she shrugged and cannonballed in.

Next to her, Athena heard Artemis saying, "I dare you to backflip in," then the twin archers, at the same time, yelled " _GERONIMO!_ " and dived in.

Athena was the only god left in the room. She shrugged and pulled out her IPhone, took a selfie, then she was sucked in by the swirling blackness.

Her last thought before she blacked out was: _Gods, this place smells like Ares_.


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's note: We know the ending is a tad rushed, but we didn't want to keep you guys waiting. Please give us some feedback!_

 **II**

 **Poseidon**

Poseidon fell to the ground, his hand still clutching Zeus' his thumb still wrestling with Zeus'. As the portal spat out Zeus, Poseidon lowered his thumb onto Zeus'.

"I demand a rematch!" Zeus cried, before noticing Hera, "Because you shall not have my wife!" Hera turned her cold glare on Poseidon. Poseidon raged.

"HELLO? You wanted to get _my_ wife! You're _definitely_ the father of Hermes!"

"I'll take that as a compliment…"Hermes muttered as the fight continued. Suddenly, Aphrodite screamed.

"OMG OMG OMG! MY HAIR IS MOUSY BROWN!" she clutched her hair, which was indeed mousy brown, in her hand. "I'M UGLY!" she shrieked.

"Why did you say OMG if this was a bad thing?" Athena asked, hitting Aphrodite where it hurt-texting.

"NOOOOO! I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER HOW TO TEXT!" Aphrodite wailed miserably.

"You never knew how to text!" Athena shot back, causing another fight to be born.

"Whaddya mean?" Aphrodite asked, tears welling.

"I mean that you were too obsessed with your own looks to care about anyone else's selfies, much less their texts!" then Athena grabbed her phone and texted something to everyone.

Poseidon checked his phone, and found Athena's selfie. "That looks amaz- I mean, it looks horrible. You should have added a few _olive trees_ in there."

"EXCUSE ME FOR WINNING!" Athena yelled, before composing herself.

"See? You didn't even _look_ at it." She pointed out to Aphrodite.

"Sorry for not wanting to see your ugly face- or anyone else's for that matter." She said, looking at Hephaestus.

"You-"Hephaestus was cut off by Athena's voice.

"We _will_ come back to this. But for now, let's address something else. Where exactly are we?" she said, surveying the area.

"Many people seem to live here." Hestia stated.

Poseidon could sense the seas. "We seem to be near the Pacific. And…" he trailed off.

"Come on, tell us!" Ares said, probably hoping it was a warring country.

"I can sense Percy, so we must be in America." He finished off.

There was silence. Then Ares whooped. "Oh yeah! Here we come, Camp Half-Blood!"

Dionysus groaned. "I just started my holiday! Do I _have_ to?"

Athena said, "No-one has to. It's a bad idea, they'll get confused."

"So…" Hermes thought for a while, "Where to next?"

"I thought you'd never ask! THAT SCHOOL is where we're going to!" Athena squealed.

"I don't care" Dionysus said, though he groaned.

"Do we have to?" the rest muttered.

"Yes!" Athena grinned, "we can help from here."

Poseidon pondered this. It was a good idea. "Okay then… I guess…"

Soon, everyone gave their consent and hey were on their way.


	3. Chapter 3

_Author's Note: Hello?! Did you guys not get what we meant? We said REVIEW! Also, we're Australian so U.S viewers, don't start saying stuff like 'You spelled armor wrong!' Oh, and please review this time!_

 **III**

 **Poseidon**

Just as they walked into the gates of the school, their godly clothes, robes and armour immediately turned into drab, blue and white school uniforms, in small sizes to fit their miniscule kindergarten selves.

"Ugh!" Aphrodite retched, tugging at her checked skirt. "So unfashionable," she despondently tugged at her mousy-brown hair, which fell in wavy lengths.

"So... um... was going in here a good idea?" Demeter asked, twisting a lock of her new strawberry blonde hair. All of their appearances had changed more or less when going through the portal. Hermes' hair was jet black, his skin tanned. Hestia had jet black hair as well, and her eyes were stormy grey. Poseidon took a closer look at Dionysus. _Wait- is he albino? Whoa, he is..._

"Don't know what you're staring at." Dionysus said blandly to Poseidon. "Not my fault I'm a fricking drunkard." Poseidon quickly turned his gaze to the other members of his group.

Poseidon himself was, in his opinion, better than everyone else with dark brown hair and hazel eyes. Zeus had dark-blonde hair, _which was stylish,_ Poseidon thought jealously, then, _but not stylish enough._ _Amphitrite is staying with me._ Anyway, Hera looked _fine_ , with sky-blue eyes and white-blonde hair.

Hephaestus looked _way_ better than he did normally. His crippled legs were hidden inside grey school trousers, and his hair was like Aphrodite's, mousy brown.

Artemis' normally auburn hair had turned white blonde and tied into a ponytail, and she had jade-green eyes. She looked almost identical to Apollo, who had the same hair and eye colour, except his hair was gelled into spikes all over the place. _Oh my Zeus, they look like my children with the hair gone all wrong!_ Poseidon grinned and wondered what would happen when they found out that they were- sorry guys- identical.

He didn't have long to wait.

"Ooh," Ares smirked, "Artemis and Apollo. You guys are _identical twinsies!_ "

Artemis quickly pulled her ponytail down and stared at it for a long while, then looked at Apollo's hair. "Oh my Poseidon... Kill me now."

The comments from the others weren't helping.

"Ooh! You guys look soo cute together!" Aphrodite squealed.

"Yeah, you should wear identical Santa costumes." Hermes joked.

"No, bunny onesies," Hera grinned.

"Yeah, put it there, wife and sis!" Zeus exclaimed.

"Please, give me some peace while I crawl over to that sandpit over there and die." Apollo beseeched the rest of them.

Hestia grabbed him just as he made for the sandpit. "Look, guys, maybe we were meant to go here. It all adds up. The portal conveniently spitting us out in front of the school, us turning into kindergartens, the school uniforms..."

"Hey, it does!" Athena looked thoughtful, then angry. " _I'M_ THE GODDESS OF WISDOM! _I'M_ MEANT TO BE FIGURING THIS OUT! I-"

"Calm down, Athena." Hestia soothed. "You actually led us here."

Athena brightened up. "Hey, that's true! So I'll point this out! Where are our supplies?"

Poseidon stared. "Supplies?"

"Well, duh, this is a school, lowly sea god."

"Excuse me, owl head-"

Bags appeared out of thin air in a heap on the ground in front of them.

"What did I tell you? It all adds up." Hestia said.

"Hey, bags the one with the gardening tools in it!" Demeter dived for the backpack at the very top of the pile.

"Hey, you bagsed the bags! Get it? Anyone," Hermes looked around for anyone who had heard him.

"Dude, horrible joke," Poseidon said.

Hermes simply shrugged and dived for the bag with what Poseidon thought looked like a handy pocket for stashing stolen goods.

"Dude," Apollo stared in awe at a flashy, golden shoulder bag with a bow, guitar, Ray-Bans and stickers poking out from a pocket.

"Stickers?" Hera asked, shouldering a rucksack that suited her.

"Not just any stickers, my friend and aunt, _sacred golden cow stickers_! Like my sacred cows!" Apollo quickly hid them from Hermes, who had commited sacred-golden-cow theft before. Artemis found a shimmery silver shoulder bag and used it to whack her brother.

"Hey, Dionysus!" Poseidon found a leopard-patterned bag with a BPA-free bottle full of Pinot Noir and picked it up. "Catch!" He soon found one for himself with a stylish wave pattern on it.

A bell rang.

"Umm..." Poseidon said, "What do we do now?"

"Wait for her to come." Hephaestus pointed to a woman who was walking towards them.

"Quickly, look presentable! Into a line!" Athena hissed.

"Why?" Zeus queried.

"It gives a good first impression." Athena muttered back. The gods and goddesses quickly shuffled into a 'presentable' queue.

"So, you're the new kindies?" The woman had arrived, and was sizing them up. Dionysus's white hair and wine bottle caught her eye. "Holy-" She caught herself before foul language could spill out of her mouth.

Dionysus seemed oblivious to this. Demeter was just staring, like _What the Hades?_

The woman shook her head, composing herself. "Never mind, come along to your classroom. My name's Mrs. Dogson, -"

Hera sniggered. "Mrs. Dogson?"

"And I will be one of your teachers, along with Mrs. Tomato."

Athena raised her eyebrows.

"I assume that you've already met the principal, Mr. BerrieBob."

It was all that Poseidon could do not to explode in laughter. He nudged Hermes, who grinned in response.

"Well, come along, let's go to the classroom now." Mrs. Dogson turned.

"Excuse me, Mrs. Dogson?" Apollo flashed the most persuasive winning smile that he could muster.

"Yes?"

"Where exactly are we?"

Mrs. Dogson stared at them as though they were crazy. "Why, Greek Gods Public School of course. Didn't you read the sign?" She beckoned for them to follow her into a corridor.

"Nice name," Hephaestus muttered, and they set off.


	4. Chapter 4

_Author's note: Don't worry, we haven't forgotten about the other gods! Hermes will be taking over for a chapter soon, and then we've scheduled Apollo to have a talk. We might be able to fit Artemis in after that, but... we've got big things planned for this fanfiction. Big things..._

 _And can you guys review? We put this on early because we saw the huge traffic stats. But where are the reviews people?_

 **IV**

 **Poseidon**

Poseidon sat down on the floor between Hephaestus and Aphrodite. He knew about their feelings toward each other, and so had decided to take a precaution against a looming catfight- or something worse. You never knew what Aphrodite would do. She might spread a rumour about your liking someone (which wouldn't be true), and you would be the laughing stock of the class. But she was _nothing_ compared to Hephaestus, who had mastered the three deadly arts of his trade- workmanship, bartering and having an ugly face. He would probably trap Ares and Aphrodite as they ate lunch together. Poseidon shuddered.

Mrs Dogson then announced that they would have to sit in a circle. Poseidon groaned, and muttered something that truly wasn't very nice. As he was the last one to find a spot, he was forced to sit next to Athena, whom he detested, and Apollo, whom he didn't mind (although Apollo _really_ had something coming for him. Everyone knew Poseidon was the most awesome god).

"Who would like to start first?" Mrs Dogson asked. Athena's hand shot up, as Poseidon had predicted it would.

"What exactly are we doing?" She asked. Poseidon smiled. The way she was going, she was probably going to be the annoying girl who always corrected the teacher. He hated those kinds of people.

"Oh," Mrs Dogson looked flustered. "You must introduce yourself. Say your name, then state something you like, such as ice cream."

Athena sat up straight and cleared her voice. "Alright! I'm Athena and I like- no, I think a much better word to describe this would be aspire- to have more wisdom. But I couldn't really get wiser, I already know _everything._ "

Mrs Dogson groaned. "Darling, _nobody_ knows everything. Only Athena knows everything. She's the wisdom goddess. Just because you're named after her doesn't mean that you are exactly like her."

Poseidon could see Athena struggling to control herself. "But I _am_ Athena, you-"She stopped herself before she could say any more.

 _Yep,_ Poseidon thought, _she's definitely not going to be the teacher's pet anytime soon!_

"Next!" Mrs Dogson was greeted by silence." That means you, dear!" She said, pointing to Poseidon.

"Well, I'm Poseidon and I like water. But I hate her," he said, pointing to Athena, who proceeded to stick her tongue out at him.

"POSEIDON! How dare you! Compose yourself!" Mrs Dogson yelled, her piercing blue eyes looking straight at Poseidon. Poseidon realised how calming they were. He would definitely have to find her again when he went back to being a god. Mrs Dogson coughed, indicating that Apollo was meant to start.

"Yo! I'm Apollo and I'm awesome! I like people who don't steal my sacred golden cow stickers!" Apollo said, glaring at Hermes, who was most likely to steal them. But Poseidon, who was looking at Artemis (the next in line) thought he saw something sacred and golden jutting out of her jacket pocket. Artemis caught his eyes, and winked. Poseidon winked back, and Artemis looked away, as if nothing had happened.

"Silence!" Mrs Dogson managed to quiet the gods and goddesses, who were laughing their heads off due to this strange performance. "Next, please?"

Artemis nodded and duly began to speak. "I'm Artemis, named after the regal goddess Artemis, who was the goddess of hunting. I hate all boys, like Artemis, but I despise my brother the most." She languidly shoved Apollo.

Immediately after Artemis finished her sentence, Ares began to speak, giving Mrs Dogson absolutely no chance to comment.

"I'm Ares and I like war and carnage." He stated. The words hung in the air, waiting to be followed by some snappy comment by Mrs Dogson.

"Um… Ares, was it? I like war as much as the next person, but please don't fight in the playground." she feigned politeness, but her mask was thinning. Soon she would show her true colours…

"Okay, so we're continuing with the introductions… Um, who was next?"

Aphrodite stood up and smiled gracefully. "I was, miss." She said, earning a glare from Athena, who must have thought that Aphrodite might have the potential to be teacher's pet. She was right.

"Go on, darling!" Mrs Dogson said, unaware of Athena, who was glowering at Aphrodite.

"Well, I'm Aphrodite and I just LOVE beauty. But it _is_ the inside that counts, isn't it?" She said, working the cutesy charm for all it was worth. Athena curled her hands into fists and made a nervous laugh.

"Hehehehe. I'd love to see you try!" She answered the question that Aphrodite had thought, but never said.

"Excuse me, Miss Athena, but we are _trying_ to finish a class activity before recess! One more peep out of you and you _will_ be sent to the naughty corner!" Fortunately, the class quietened before Mrs Dogson yelled again.

When nobody talked, Mrs Dogson yelled "NEXT!" Unfortunately, Hephaestus was tinkering with a sharpener he had dismantled, and took no notice of her.

Taking a deep breath, Mrs Dogson yelled, "ENOUGH!". Due to her constant shouting, Poseidon decided against finding her when he returned to his true godly form. She was _way_ too nasty- like Hera, but three thousand times worse.

The class having quietened down, Hephaestus began to speak.

"Well, uh… my name's Hephaestus and I really really like machines… I don't really get along with humans that well… or anyone…" His awkward comment caused a shroud of silence to descend upon the room. It was a very unnatural kind of silence. Out of the corner of his eye, Poseidon saw Mrs Dogson trying to speak, and knew instantly what had happened.

 _Damn you, Harpocrates!_ Poseidon thought, knowing that the god of silence was responsible for this. He hated the twelve gods of Olympus because they were normal Greek gods, purebreds, whereas he was a lowly mutt.

"Okay… Who is next?" Mrs Dogson asked the class, "and please do hurry up, it's almost recess." Zeus winked and straightened his jacket.

'I'm Zeus and there are two things I love in this world- thunderstorms and the ladies- uh, I mean, Hera!" Zeus said hastily as Hera's eyes turned icy cold.

"And I'm Hera and I just love marriage and leaving little… presents for people." Hera shot a glance at Zeus, who whimpered. Poseidon remembered Annabeth Chase, a mortal girl on whom Hera had inflicted a horrible curse- the girl had seen cows everywhere, and had stepped in many little presents.

"Come on, hurry, next person!" Mrs Dogson tapped Demeter's shoulder.

"Well, I am Demeter and I just _love_ gardening, harvesting and cereal, but especially gardening! In fact, one of my children's last name was Gardener!" Upon realising where she was, Demeter hastily added, "Yes, my dear dolly, Katie Gardener!" Mrs Dogson gave her a strange look and then moved on to Dionysus.

 _Now this_ will _be good_ Poseidon thought, knowing that Dionysus would either mention wine or partying.

"So… name's Dionysus and I like wine. There. Kill me now." Dionysus said in monotone, before falling to the floor as if dead. Rather than check if he was okay, Mrs. Dogson decided to question his antics.

"Did you say wine? YOU DRINK WINE? Do your parents approve of this?"

Poseidon rushed to save him. "Hahahaha! You're funny Mrs Dogson!" he winked at Athena, who joined in.

"Hilarious!"

Gradually, the others joined in.

"So silly!"

"Pretty funny!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Hahaha-lol"

Soon, everyone was pretending to giggle. Mrs Dogson quickly forgot about Dionysus in lieu of calming them down.

"Enough, children!" she exclaimed, before pointing to Hestia. "Start."

Hestia gave her a naïve grin. "Well, I'm Hestia and I love home." At this, everyone smiled.

"That's an amazing answer!" Mrs Dogson beamed.

 _She's certainly giving Aphrodite and Athena a run for their money._ Poseidon thought.

"Aha! The final child!" Mrs Dogson let out a sigh of relief.

"Hermes is my name, stealing's my game." Hermes said quickly. Before Mrs Dogson could comment, the bell rang.

 _Yeah, good job bell!_ Poseidon cheered before walking outside.


	5. Chapter 5

Greek Gods

Public School

 **V**

 **Hermes**

Hermes ran out of the door, grabbed his bag and sprinted into the playground. "SCHOOL'S OVER!" he yelled, jumping up and down in circles.

Shortly after, Poseidon came out. "YES!" He punched the air.

Slowly, one by one, the others came out and rejoiced about the end of school day, even Athena. "That woman has pure Hades and more coming for her," she announced. "So what do we do now?"

"We find someplace where there's shelter," Artemis said, "Just in case the weather gets bad."

"I suggest finding shelter in a tree." Demeter said.

Aphrodite sniffed. "Sorry, I don't do trees."

"Well, what about a nice tent on the beach?" Poseidon suggested as the thirteen of them began to walk outside.

"What if we get wet?" Zeus challenged.

"What about that?" Hermes asked, pointing to a luxurious and modern looking three storey house just outside the school gates.

"What if it's inhabitedby someone else?" Ares asked.

"What if it isn't?" Hermes dared. "It's our best option, and as Hestia says: "This may well be all part of a plan."

Ares relented. "Fine, but you're knocking."

"LOL, how do you think this looks to other people?" Hera laughed. "Thirteen kindies all crossing the road with no adult supervision."

Zeus smiled. "Pretty lolish."

"HAHAHAHA, yeah" Artemis agreed.

They climbed up the stairs and into the house; Hermes took a deep breath and knocked. _Thud, thud thud_. The door slid open, there were lights on inside, but there was no-one there. He mustered all of his courage and called to the others. "Hey, guys, I think that we can come in now. The door's open."

Inside, the lounge room was bare and empty.

"Welcoming." Hephaestus muttered.

"Who do you think lives here?" Apollo whispered, tracing his hand along a dusty window sill.

"No-one, I think," Athena said

Dionysus took advantage of the bad condition of the house and signed his name along one of the walls.

"What are you doing?" Hera demanded.

Dionysus shrugged off-handedly. "Leaving a lasting impression."

Hestia sighed. "I wish there was a fireplace. Something that lets us call this place home."

" _OH MY GODS_ , what is happening?" Artemis yelled. The wall where Hestia was standing was glowing, faintly at first, then brighter. "Hestia, move!"

Everyone scrambled away from the wall. Suddenly, the wall dimmed again and there was a roaring fireplace in the room.

"So, um, does anyone have any idea what happened?" Poseidon asked nervously.

Hestia smiled. "I do. It's all been planned out. Someone, try asking for something as well."

Hermes took a deep breath. "I want sofas, please. Soft and made out of cow's leather."

Hera glared. " _Cow's leather_ , did you say? Is this displaying cruelty to cows?"

But the room was glowing already. With a _poof_ , sofas appeared in the middle of the room.

Dionysus rushed over. "Heck, these are soft! Can I have an ebony table and some bottles of Chardonnay?" Sure enough, they appeared in the middle of the room.

"Apples, please," Demeter called.

"Maybe some pure water," Poseidon requested.

"A laptop?" Athena implored the room. It glowed brightly, then the requested items appeared on the table.

"This place is amazing," Artemis breathed. "Come on, brother, let's explore the rest of it."

"Sure," Apollo said. "Anyone else want to come?"

"Umm… We'll leave the exploring to you guys. You never know what might be lurking in the other room." Ares said hurriedly. "I mean, I'm brave and all, but we need me here just in case anything ambushes us."

Apollo raised an eyebrow. "You're superstitious?"

"No." Ares protested. "Just trying to keep safe,"

"If you say so," Artemis said. "Come on." She pointed to a door near Hestia's fireplace and donned her bag, along with Apollo. "Let's go through there."

They walked out. "So, what do you want to do while they're gone?" Hera asked.

"Why don't we play a game?" Demeter suggested.

Poseidon and Hestia gazed at each other for a while then blurted out: "Truth or Dare Extreme Version!"

Demeter and Hera groaned.

Ares looked confused. "What's that?"

"It's basically truth or dare, but the victim has to do the dare or tell the truth, no matter what it is, unless someone volunteers to do it for you." Demeter explained. "We used to play it… you know, inside Kronos."

"You choose the victim and the person who chooses the truth or dare by spinning a bottle. The victim gets to choose how many people do the dare or tell the truth with him or her, but the chooser gets to choose who does it with them." Hera added.

"That's cool. Though what I don't get is how you managed to get a spinner inside the Lord of the Titans." Athena said.

Just then, Artemis and Apollo came in.

"That's ten bedrooms, five bathrooms, three linen wardrobes, a kitchen, and a dining room." Apollo recited.

"You're just in time for Truth or Dare!" Hermes said. He requested a bottle from the room and placed it in the middle of the room, whilst explaining the changes to the normal game to the twins.

"Spin it! Spin it!" chanted Zeus and Poseidon. Hermes spun- and it landed on Aphrodite.

"Ooh, Aphrodite," Hera said, "I wonder who'll be the chooser."

"It's…" Hermes trained his eyes on the bottle. Everyone leaned in. "HEPHAESTUS!" yelled Hermes.

Aphrodite whimpered. "Please, darling husband, be merciful…"

"I dare you," Hephaestus smiled, "To wear neon pink and maroon nail polish for one week."

"Noooooo!" Aphrodite screamed attractively. "My manicure- ruined!"

Athena smiled, and revealed two bottles of nail-polish from behind her back. "Hands on the table, please."

The goddess screamed, whimpered, convulsed and laughed hysterically throughout the manicure treatment.

"I'm spinning again!" Hermes announced when it was done. This time, the victim was Zeus, the chooser Dionysus.

"I dare you," Dionysus said, "To do ten pushups with me sitting on your back. But you have to kiss the floor every time you go down!"

"Gross," Demeter said, "But funny."

They began to count while Zeus worked out. "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten!" Zeus collapsed on the floor, his kindergarten body worn out from the annoyingly gross dare.

"Let's do one last dare before we go to bed." Athena said.

"I'm doing the chooser first." Hermes announced, spinning the bottle. It was Demeter. Then he spun the bottle again for the victim. Every single turn seemed to mesmerize him. One turn, then another, then another… the hypnotic turning of the bottle was too hard to tear his eyes away from. It spun in continuous circles, until… the bottle... finally reached… a grinding halt… at… him.

Demeter grinned malevolently. "I dare you… to watch one straight hour of Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing on Rainbows."

That night, Hermes was unable to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

_Author's Note: If you review, you will probably get a special mention in one of our next chapters/fanfics and if you have written any, we WILL comment on them. So, yeah, **REVIEW!**_ _Also, we may be starting another fanfic soon so look out for it!_

 **VI**

 **Apollo**

It was the second week of school. Everyone had settled in nicely, and the teacher's pet scenario was all sorted out. It was Hestia. Apollo had also managed to create a new instrument- the food guitar, complete with cheesy strings and apples. He was very pleased with himself.

After he had created the first food guitar, Apollo wandered around the school. He spotted a dude wearing a hot hat (hot is the new cool). It said 'Hot' on it, so Apollo knew he was destined to have it. Nonchalantly, he walked up to the kid.

"Um, hi…" he said, staring at the hat.

"Fifteen bucks, kid." The dude said.

"Ha! Do you want some sacred cow stickers? Three of them can cost as much as three bucks!" He said, staring longingly at the hat.

"You're gonna have to give me fifteen of those stickers, kiddo. And one for tax." The kid said, putting out his hand. "Pay up."

Reluctantly, Apollo reached into his pocket. Then he panicked. Where were his stickers? Apollo needed to find a place to think, but he also needed the hat. So he found his half eaten food guitar and showed the guy.

"How about this half-eaten food guitar?" Apollo asked hopefully.

"No deal." Said the boy, walking off. Apollo then decided to grab the hat and run. So he did. Unfortunately, he had never been in the best of shapes and the hat was snatched from him instantly. Grumbling, Apollo stalked off, deciding that he would take revenge on the hot guy. But first, he had to find his cow stickers- and he knew exactly who would have them.

"Hey, Hermes!" Apollo said to Hermes, who was chatting up a teacher.

"Hey, bro!" Hermes said, motioning for him to go.

"Come with me." Apollo said darkly, which wasn't usually his style. He normally went with sunshinily, but not today.

Apollo led Hermes to the storage room near block A, where he forced him to sit on a chair. Then Apollo dimmed the lights and put on a trench coat with a nametag saying 'Detective Apollo'. Finally, he pulled on a pair of shades.

"Hermes," he said casually, hands on Hermes' shoulders, "WHERE ARE MY SACRED GOLDEN COW STICKERS?"

Hermes shrugged." Am I meant to know this stuff? I didn't steal Athena's notes for the pop quiz yet…"

Apollo looked at him quizzically. "You didn't steal them?" he asked.

"Nah, but I wish I had. Musta been a right laugh when you figured out!" Hermes said, doubling over as he laughed.

"HAHAHAHA! Yeah, right!" Apollo said, getting back to business. "I know you took them."

Hermes stopped laughing and looked at Apollo, who, he now realised, was dead serious. Since he had not taken the shiny stickers, and Apollo would never believe him if he said so, he decided to tell him a little lie. After all, Hermes needed to steal Athena's notes and he did _not_ want her to find out from Apollo (that he was stealing her notes).

"I did see Dionysus with some gold stuff…" Hermes said thoughtfully.

"If you didn't do it, get out!" Apollo yelled, holding the door open. "Oh, and ask Dionysus to get here, will you? Say I'll be here at…" Apollo glanced at his wrist, "10:30."

Now it was Hermes' turn to look at Apollo quizzically. "You don't have a watch, Apollo…"

Apollo grinned. "I'm the _sun god_ , Hermes! I can see what time it is cos' of the sun! Do you take me for a fool?!"

After Hermes left, Apollo searched for a container- preferably made of see-through plastic. After a while, he found one, and set off to find some more equipment.

Dionysus knocked on the door as soon as Apollo finished setting up the container. He placed the container, which was now filled with dark red liquid, to a side and opened the door. Dionysus walked in drunkenly, which was unusual since he had finished his bottle of Chardonnay from the other day, as well as the three bottles of Shiraz he had asked for. And he had finished them two days ago…

Apollo grabbed Dionysus's shoulders and wheeled him around (he was about to bash into the wall. He was sure the wall didn't want puny gods running into it). Dionysus puked on his new sneakers (which may or may not be stolen property from the house next to the school).

Gagging from the smell, Apollo sat Dionysus down on the chair and hurried off to wash all the puke away and discard whoever's sneakers he was wearing, although he did give them a good wash. He did it so well that a name- Lucas Castellan, whoever _that_ was- got rubbed off. He also discarded his clothes and borrowed Mrs Dogson's fur coat, as well as a pair of high heels he found.

 _My legs look hot in these!_ He thought, posing in front of the mirrors in the boys toilets. Then he hurried back to the storage closet, where it appeared Dionysus had puked his way into a bucket of paint.

Pushing the putrid paint aside, Apollo got down to business once again.

"Where did you put the golden cow stickers?" He asked Dionysus, staring intently at his face- but only because the rest of him was covered in chunks of- well, you get the idea. Dionysus responded quickly, surprisingly alert for a drunken kindy.

"What golden cow stickers?" He asked, leaning back. "I don't even know what those are!"

Apollo facepalmed. "They're cow stickers that are golden, you idiot!" He said.

"You're calling _me_ the idiot?" Dionysus muttered inaudibly. Meanwhile, Apollo was searching for the container. He found it after ten seconds.

"Well, if you're not gonna talk…" Apollo said evilly," maybe this will change your mind!" He placed a bottle of water and the wine container on the table. Dionysus chuckled.

"What's _that_ meant to be?" he asked, with no idea of what was to come.

"Well, you see, dear brother…"

"I'm not your brother…"

Apollo amended his statement. "Well, you see… This is a bottle of water. And this is wine. Now, what happens if we mix wine and water? Well, distilled wine happens. And if you don't answer me honestly, I _will_ distil this wine!"

"NOOO! NOT DISTILLED WINE!" Dionysus screamed, ready to do anything to stop Apollo. He decided to place the blame on someone else.

"Artemis did it!" He yelled frantically. Apollo laughed.

"She'd never do that! You're lying!" His hand was now poised over the wine.

"Okay, okay! It was Poseidon!" Dionysus said, sure that that would stop him. And it did.

"That guy… He was always jealous of me, because I'm _awesome_! But I never thought he would stoop so low…" Apollo muttered to himself.

"Well, I'll just see myself out… And I'll grab Poseidon yes?"

"Yes." Apollo said. He was out the door before Dionysus. He needed to find some ingredients for a recipe.

"Come in." Apollo said after Poseidon knocked.

"What do you want? Make it quick, I've got a detention to go to at second half." Poseidon said, plopping down in his seat.

"What for?" Apollo asked, curious.

"Apparently you shouldn't go swim in the deep end of the ocean. There could be dangerous sharks there. Pffffft! I don't give a fish about sharks! They're actually quite shy." Poseidon said, as he replayed the events in his head.

Apollo grabbed the putrid paint from earlier. He had learned that people never told the truth unless you threatened them.

"What's that smell?" Poseidon pinched his nose.

"Puke paint. Which is about to become Puke paint with seaweed and fish. Which is about to become your lunch!" Apollo said.

"Eeeeeeew! What do you want from me?!" Poseidon asked, seemingly innocent.

"Where. Are. My. Golden. Cow. Stickers."

With Artemis!" Poseidon replied. Then he rushed out of the room. "Bye!"

 _Interesting…_ Apollo thought. _Maybe I_ will _have to check Artemis out._ The bell rang.

 _But I'll do it tomorrow, I've got detention too._

After school, Apollo walked side by side with Artemis.

"What?" she asked. "It's bad enough we _actually_ look like twins. We don't need to become Siamese!"

Apollo grinned and said, "Sorry! Could I carry your backpack? Oh, and I'll do your washing for you, dear sis."

Artemis happily agreed. Apollo was too dumb to try anything fishy. Or so she thought.

After getting her backpack, Apollo searched in the pockets for anything suspicious. He was unable to find anything, so he dropped the bag on the floor and kicked it thrice. Fifty golden cow stickers fell out of Artemis' bag.

Artemis turned back and saw the mess. She started giggling.

Aphrodite joined in.

Then Ares (he always did what his girlfriend did).

Soon enough, all the kindergarteners were laughing, Apollo included. He walked towards Artemis as the cacophony of laughs died down.

"Now, you have to pay me back." He pointed to the hot guy wearing the awesome hat. "You see that hot guy over there?"

Artemis giggled again. "The one you appear to have a crush on?"

"Hot is the new cool!" Apollo explained. "Anyway, could you buy that hat for me? Costs fifteen bucks."

Artemis yelped. " _That_ much?" Then she considered it. "Fine, but only because you promised to buy me something expensive for my birthday."

"I did?" Apollo asked.

"Well, you have now!" Artemis said as she skipped towards the guy. She quickly paid for the hat and ran towards Apollo with it. Then, with a (seemingly accidental) flick of the wrist, the hat landed in the murky water of the sea. "Oh, well!" she said, as she walked towards their house. "And you're still getting me that expensive present!" she called back, smiling.


	7. Chapter 7

_Author's note: Sorry for taking SO LONG to upload. We're working hard on our new fanfic, which we hope will be uploaded sometime next week. Until then, why don't you preoccupy yourself reading this?_

 _ALSO, thanks to:_

 _Smera_

 _grapplinghookgrimm_

 _TheDoublePooper_

 _RandomDevilishPerson_

 _and the random_

 _Guest_

 _for ACTUALLY reviewing!_

 **VII**

 **Hera**

"Good morning children!" A strange teacher bustled into the room, dumping a large green binder on Mrs Dogson's desk.

"Um, this isn't your classroom, Mrs Blind!" Hera said, mentally noting that her trash-talking needed improvement.

"Excuse me? _What_ did you say, Missy?" the teacher replied, facing the students. The teacher had blonde hair cut fashionably short (it was definitely fashionable, as Hera could see Aphrodite nodding approvingly), and she had a blinding smile. Looking around, Hera could already see all the guys falling for her.

 _Dimwits,_ she thought. They would fall for anybody.

"I am Ms Tomato, your teacher for music and everything else you do on a Wednesday." She explained, glaring at Hera.

"Well, that's perfect isn't it?" Apollo flashed what was clearly meant to be a winning smile (but looked more like he was squinting at the sun, which was what he usually did). "I'm the god of- I mean, I just _love_ music! We're perfect together!" he said, moving closer and closer to Ms Tomato, who slowly backed away.

"Sorry about my brother." Artemis apologised, leaning in closer, "he can be a bit… well… stupid at times."

"I hear ya!" Ms Tomato replied, laughing. Then she said, "Okay, children! In a line, please! We're heading to the music room."

As they walked down, Ms Tomato showed hem where each of the classes were.

"That one over there's 6A, and just over there you can see 5C." She said, before they reached their destination. Everyone tried to walk inside in an orderly manner—but failed.

Hera instantly latched onto Zeus so she could see if any funny business was going on. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Aphrodite fixing up her hair and non-existent make-up to try and distract Ares from Ms Tomato.

"Okay, kids-" Ms Tomato was interrupted by Demeter.

"Just an inquiry- do you have songs about cereal? Preferably not with sultanas; I just don't know why people want cold soggy sultanas in their cereal…" Demeter sparked a lot of talk.

"Oh, what about the sun?"

"I think a song about the moon or hunting would be nice!"

"Songs about love are just beautiful…"

"Songs about hammers RULE!"

"I think the sea is a good topic for a song."

"How about marriage and a happy family life?"

"I do think a song about warmth is best."

"How about studying and brains? Got anything for that?"

"LIGHTNING!"

"War and carnage, please!"

"Could we have a song about wine?"

"Flying sneakers?"

At which point Ms Tomato managed to calm them down. "Let's start with this warm-up. Listen to me and then repeat.

 _You are my sunshine,_

 _My only-"_

"YESSSS! BEAT THAT, SUCKERS! SHE LIKES ME MORE!" Apollo interjected.

"Okaaaaayyy… Let's play a game, then. In a circle, please." Ms Tomato said. Everyone moved and were now standing in a lopsided circle.

"Okay, now, you must clap your hands to the beat, okay? Do I have any song requests?" Ms Tomato was greeted by silence. "Old MacDonald it is, then!" she said, moving towards the laptop. Demeter ran up to her and whispered something in her ear.

'Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows 1 HOUR EDITION!' blared from the speakers. Hermes started whimpering. Hera caught Dionysus' eye and burst out laughing.

 _This is fun…_ Hera thought.


	8. Chapter 8

_Author's Note: GUYS, WE ARE SOOOOO SORRY FOR NOT POSTING IN AGES. TO MAKE IT UP, ANOTHER TWO CHAPTERS WILL BE POSTED NEXT WEEK! YOU HEARD IT! NEXT WEEK! AND TOMORROW, WE'LL BE POSTING OUR NEW FANFIC (MAYBE EVEN TODAY!)_

 **VIII**

 **Artemis**

"Hermes!"

"Yes, Mrs. Dogson!"

"You haven't brought in your camp note yet!"

"Yes ma'am! Sorry ma'am! I'll bring it in tomorrow ma'am!"

Artemis snickered. That _had_ to be the world record for saying ma'am in 10 seconds. She elbowed Demeter, who sniggered back.

"Hera, Zeus, Poseidon! You haven't brought them in either. If you don't return them by next week I will personally Skype Rhea to come over!"

"We will, Mrs. Dogson."

"Does Rhea have Skype? And how does Mrs. Dogson know who Rhea is?" asked Hephaestus to Demeter.

"Don't know, don't care." She replied.

"Good." Mrs. Dogson looked around at the class. "Now, as all of you know, next Friday will be our _awesome_ swimming carnival!"

"Awwww…"

"Come on class, let's hear some optimism!"

"Whoooooo! Yeah baby, bring it on!" yelled Poseidon.

Zeus raised his eyebrows.

Mrs. Dogson ignored that. "I'm glad that all of you are especially enthusiastic! Now, off to Mrs. Tomato for a music lesson."

 _Dang it,_ Artemis thought, _I'm gonna have to hold a private meeting_.

"Come to the secret meeting spot, recess."

"Wha- oh, that secret meeting spot," Demeter realised. "The one where Apollo tied up Dionysus and interrogated him with distilled wine."

"Yeah, that one."

"But why?"

"Swimming carnivals are boring. We need to change the schedule around a little bit." Artemis grinned mischievously.

"So we have to invite the boys?"

"Ah… Dang it. Do we absolutely have to?"

"Admit it Artemis, they come up with all the fun ideas."

"FINE. But this was your idea, not mine. And you're telling them."

"Yeah, sure."

Their chat was interrupted as Mrs. Tomato saw them and said, "Come along children, into the music room."

The recess bell rang. Artemis wasn't as glad as she should have been.

"Please tell me that you didn't tell the boys," She pleaded Demeter.

"I did…"

"Please tell me you didn't invite _that_ group…"

"OH! _That_ group. Ummmm… well, you've gotta admit Artemis, Apollo and Poseidon are the only ones who come up with fun ideas."

Artemis grumped over the fact that even one of her best friends thought that her twin brother was better at coming up with exciting ides than she was.

"Well, I invited Athena. And Hestia," Demeter volunteered.

Artemis's eyes lit up. "OK, let's go!" She began dragging Demeter down the corridor, and out into the playground.

"And Hephaestus."

Artemis stopped abruptly, sending Demeter sprawling.

Five minutes later, Artemis, Demeter, Hestia, Athena, Hephaestus, Apollo and Poseidon were gathered round in the 'secret meeting spot', which wasn't very secret.

"Ow… this… storage cupboard… is… so… squishy." Athena mumbled.

"Hey, when I interrogated Dionysus it was just us two." Apollo protested.

"Well, anyway," Artemis began, "I have this idea."

"WHAT?" Poseidon asked when Artemis had finished declaring it "THAT'S CRAZY!"

Apollo whistled. "I like it."

Tears welled up in the eyes of Poseidon's kindy version. "But, I wanna do some swimming."

"Aw, it's okay bro. Chillax, we'll find you a way to swim while we have our fun." Apollo patted Poseidon sympathetically on the back.

Poseidon began to cry.

"There, there, fellow living organism." Hephaestus held Poseidon's hand.

Artemis face-palmed.

"Uh… I mean… it's all right Poseidon."

"Why do you guys even try comforting him?" Athena asked off-handedly. "He'll get over it. It's not as if he's a kindy."

"Whatever."

Hephaestus suddenly had an idea. "Why don't I build something to help you, Poseidon?"

Poseidon brightened up.

"That's a great idea, Hephaestus. Why don't you build a paddling pool with heating and waves?" Hestia suggested.

"Well, building it should be a cinch, but in this foreign mortal world, I don't know where I'd get the materials." Hephaestus scratched the back of his head.

Poseidon began to cry again.

Artemis sighed. "Look, I have a plan. Hestia here will pretend to be sick, and Hephaestus and I will volunteer to take her to sick bay, then we'll sneak out of the school, and get the parts for the paddling pool."

"Hang on, why me?" Hestia demanded angrily.

"Because Mrs. Dogson absolutely _falls_ for you, Hestia," Apollo said, "And so she'll really think that you're sick just in case you act badly. And obviously, you'll get to come with Hephaestus, Artemis and I."

"Hang on," Artemis said, "Hephaestus, Artemis and _I_?"

"You aren't planning on leaving me behind, are you?" Apollo said hotly.

"Wake up sunshine. My plan, my rules."

"I think we should let him come. Safety in numbers. A tactical advantage," Athena said thoughtfully.

" _We_?" Artemis was flabbergasted.

"I am the _brains_ of the experiment. You can't leave me behind." Athena said superiorly.

"Hey, you need to let me come." Demeter said. "I need to be there, just in case you find cereal. You can never tell if it's whole-grain of just a scam."

"Hey, what if someone begins drowning?" Poseidon asked superiorly. "I have to be there, just in case it happens."

"What?" Athena asked. "You can't drown in a shopping centre."

"Welcome to the world, genius. Recent developers had an idea of putting in _fountains_ to shopping malls."

Artemis played her last card, "Won't 7 kindergartens walking around a shopping centre look suspicious?"

"What? No. Duh," Apollo said.

Hestia began to speak, "So… umm… We suggest the idea of a fête-"

"Festival of awesomeness," Apollo interjected.

"Festival of awesomeness to Mrs. Dogson, then if she says yes, I faint and you six volunteer to take me to sick bay then we sneak out of school then walk to the nearest shopping centre which sucks 'cause our godly powers are gone then nick Hephaestus's stuff then come back to school?" Everyone nodded.

"Well then, that's settled." Athena declared, then added, "You know, I think that it would be a good idea to give our group a _name_. You know? That sort of thing?"

"Hmmm… good idea. Let's say one world each," Hestia said, then began, "Warm."

"Awesome!" Apollo grinned.

"Seaweedy," Poseidon declared.

"Umm… hunting-loving?" Artemis said.

"Intelligent," Athena suggested.

"Cereal-ish!" Demeter yelled.

"Hammers," Hephaestus finished. There was silence.

"Soo…" Athena recapped, "That's the… Warm, awesome, seaweedy, hunting-loving, intelligent, cerealish hammers."

"Or W-A-S-H-L-I-C-H," Hestia turned it into an acronym.

"Or WASHLICH," Poseidon made a sound like he was digesting a screwdriver.

"Wash lick?" Hephaestus asked, confused.

"No, silly, WASHLICH," Demeter said.

"Okay then, WASHLICH it is!" Apollo declared.

"Meeting adjourned." Artemis said, smiling.


	9. Chapter 9

Greek Gods

Public School

X

Demeter

After the Festival of Awesomeness, the gods headed to their beach house. They withdrew into their separate rooms, doing stuff they liked to do.

Demeter ate cereal, while Apollo strummed on his new and improved food guitar. Next door, Hades was trying to pierce one of his ears so he could look like a punk (he just didn't go for Goth). Meanwhile, Hermes was looking over all the stuff he had stolen, while Aphrodite was looking for her phone (Hermes had stolen it). Hestia was sitting in front of the fire with Artemis, and Dionysus was drinking his third bottle of Shiraz. Athena was doing some maths homework (which she finished in one minute), and Poseidon was swimming in his bathtub. Zeus was trying (and failing) to log onto his favourite Olympian dating website. What he didn't know was that, next door, Hera was spying on him and blocking his progress. Ares was playing on his new Playstation.

But something was missing. The Olympians all knew what it was. At exactly the same time, they burst out of their rooms, yelling "This is SOOOOOOOO boring!" and suggesting game ideas. Even Athena joined in.

Eventually, the gods calmed down and headed to the living room, which was cluttered with empty bottles of Shiraz (courtesy of Dionysus), the gods' bags, homework (mostly undone) and boxes of cereal.

Demeter picked up a bowl from the floor, got Poseidon to wash it with seawater, and filled it with cereal. Hades was watching her, which was his hobby- and, yes, it was creepy.

 _Creepy…_ Demeter thought, looking at the stalker himself, who averted his eyes. _And my daughter actually married him…_ She shook her head.

"Hey," Zeus said as he sat down, "what's with the cereal? I mean, why no milk?"

Demeter groaned. Why couldn't anyone see that Hera's stupid cows' milk was ruining the beauty and nutritious values of cereal? So she decided not to answer.

"So…"Poseidon said, "Whaddya wanna do?"

Everyone (except Hermes) chorused 'TRUTH OR DARE!'

"I'll get a bottle!" said Dionysus as he asked for a bottle of wine. After downing it (which took a few seconds) he set it on the floor and spun it. Everyone watched, hypnotized by the dark bottle. It finally landed on… Hades.

"Awwww. You're no fun! No offense, Hades." Poseidon groaned.

"I'm _definitely_ going to make the _best dare ever!_ " Hades retorted.

"Oooh, looks like someone wore his big boy pants today!" Hera commented.

"Don't be like that!" Hestia reprimanded.

"Excuse me, but the bottle is spinning again!" Demeter pointed out.

 _Nitwits- except for Hestia_ , Demeter thought as the bottle rotated.

"Oooooh! Demeter!" everyone looked at Demeter, who had turned the white of snowflakes.

"I… I know we don't really get along, but… Persephone will treat you better if…" At this, Hades expression darkened.

"I was _going_ to let you off the hook, but now…" Hades thought for a second. His eyes came across one of Ares' socks, discarded under the table. Then he saw Hermes' sneakers. "Oh, this is a hard one…" he looked from sock to sneaker, sock to sneaker, then decided. " I dare you…" he paused for suspense. "To… put one of Ares' socks in your mouth!"

Demeter coughed loudly. "Not… You can't be serious… Don't tell me…"

"DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!" everyone chanted. Hades summoned a pair of tweezers and carefully picked up the sock, gagging from the stench of it. "Say ahhhhhhhh!" he told Demeter, who reluctantly opened her mouth. Hades stuffed the rancid sock in her mouth.

"Ewwwww!" Demeter spat the sock out of her mouth, then summoned soap before scrubbing it up and down her tongue. But everyone had already moved on.

This time, Hestia was the victim, and Aphrodite the chooser.

" _Don't_ hurt her, Aphrodite!" Poseidon warned her. She smiled.

"I can't make empty promises, dearie!" she said, giggling.

"Um… please don't do anything _too_ icky!" Hestia pleaded.

"Well, I'll dial it down _just for you."_ Aphrodite lied. "Here's your dare: you have to wear… socks with sandals for a week!"

"Meh." Hermes stated.

" _Meh?_ How dare you 'meh' me!" Aphrodite raged.

"It _was_ pretty 'meh'." Athena admitted, as Hestia looked for some clean socks. "Look! She doesn't care! She's already finding the socks! You should be more like her."

"Hmph." Aphrodite turned away from Athena.

"Last one?" Demeter asked.

"Last one." Hermes confirmed.

The bottle spun hypnotically. Leaning closer, Demeter wished that she would be the picker, but…

"Yay! Me!" Hermes grinned, before flicking the bottle so it would spin again.

 _What are the chances it would be me?_ Demeter thought, reassuring herself.

"OOOOOOHHHHH!" everyone looked from Demeter (the new victim) to Hermes (the former victim).

Demeter muttered a very unpleasant four-letter word under her breath.

"No bad language, dear!" Athena reprimanded, giggling.

"Um… I know I gave you a _horrible_ dare last time, but if you could be so kind as to…" Demeter knew he would give her a terrible dare. She braced herself.

"Your dare is… to watch… twelve hours straight of…" Hermes paused.

 _No… Not P-_

"Pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows!" Hermes said grandly. Apollo snickered.

"He got you _gooooooooood_!" he said, pointing.

"Artemis! Tell your brother to stop!" Demeter pleaded.

"I would but…" Artemis was visibly trying to hold in her laughter, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! It's… BWAHAHAHAHA… true!"

"Oh, look at the time! It seems to be eight! You'd better start watching now if you want to make it to school tomorrow!" Hermes exclaimed, mock concerned.

"I _won't_ go to school tomorrow!" Demeter huffed, before stomping to her room, where she locked the door.

"You can't do that!" Athena yelled, running after her. "You'll miss all the learning!"

"I don't care." Demeter replied.

"You still have to do my dare!" Hermes yelled.

That night, Demeter endured twelve hours of a pink fluffy unicorn (who she had named Bob) dancing on rainbows. The following night, she was unable to sleep. The unicorn had returned in her dreams.


End file.
